Words Can Never Hurt Me
by soccerfanaticgirl
Summary: Clary is a mentally, emotionally, and physically abused person who is abused by her father, brother, and classmates. Then she moves in with her mother after a custody fight and starts in a new school. She built up walls and was afraid, but one person in particular isn't stopping until he breaks them down. All human fic. Set in high school setting.
1. Words Can Never Hurt Me

_Just a little story, not going to be long. A little heads up though, Clary, Simon, and Isabelle are sophomores, Jace is a junior, Jonathon and Alec are seniors._

Words Can Never Hurt Me

Words can never hurt me.

That's what I told myself. That's what my motto was, what kept me strong. The words can come, but what do they know? They don't know me; they can't hurt me. That's what I told myself.

But that wasn't the case.

What they didn't know was that I sat in the basement alone, crying and hurting. Every night. For the first 16 years of my life, that's what I did. And you know what? Maybe it was because they didn't know. Maybe that's the reason I was brought down by all the words they said to me. Maybe that's the reason they called me worthless, stupid, ugly, unlikeable, and alone, maybe that's the reason they told me no one could ever like me. But they had no reason to have maybes. They didn't have the right to know. They didn't have the right to hurt me.

They say words can never hurt you, but that's where they're wrong. Words hurt the most. They are the strongest artillery. Words will always hurt me.

That was a glimpse of my high school life. Now this is the story of how I was abused and ignored then lifted up by a single person. A single person changed my life forever.

…

I shuffled along the walls of the school, head down, hat on, and books in hand. I was hoping more than ever that no one would notice me. My father had a bad morning. Which meant I was still wincing from where he hit me.

My classroom was so close, but only I could attract so much trouble and bad luck. That's what everyone told me.

"Hey there Little Red, where you going?" I felt myself cower back slightly at the sound of that voice. I refused to raise my eyes and give him the pleasure of seeing my fear in them.

He reminded me so much of Valentine, so much. His looks, his style, his personality, everything. Walking, talking, bullying, everything he did made me think of my father. I guess Valentine taught him well.

I saw a hand go down to my chin and gently raise it up, making me look him in the eyes. I cringed at his touch. His eyes. They were black. Cold, empty, cruel, and heartless. They weren't always like that though.

"I asked you where you were going, you worthless piece of trash. Now answer me."

I couldn't believe any teacher didn't see this.

"I-I'm going to class."

"You could've just answered me in the first place instead of making me force you too. Now you got my hand covered in your filth. I had to touch you, now I have worthless germs on my hand. I'm going to wash them off now. Better not be late, Clary." The boy sneered.

I cowered into the room, ignoring all the glares and nasty words being whispered to me. I took my seat at the back of the room and tried not to think about what had been said to me by Jonathon Morgenstern.

Blond hair, black eyes. Just like my father. My brother once had loved me. But that was history. He, in image, was my father's clone. He used to try and protect me, but that only brought him pain. Jon never got hit. Jon learned. My father taught him. Taught him who to hit. Where to hit. When to hit. Now he was a shell of my father's teachings. He didn't dare to hit me at school. Not with all his friends watching. No, him and Valentine preferred to hit when I least expected it. So now I expect it at all times.

I was about to start drawing and escape the real world when my teacher called my name. I slowly made my way up to the front and the teacher told me I was needed in the office.

As I approached the room, my breath caught when I saw Jonathon standing there too.

"Hello little sister, fancy seeing you here. Do you know what this is about?" I shook my head no, which probably wasn't even noticeable from my shaking body.

"Oh stop shaking you pathetic idiot."

The door opened and Jonathon smiled at the receptionist, resuming his angelic good boy façade. But I knew better.

"The principle will see you now."

They walked in and Jonathon smiled but my shaking got so bad that I had to use the wall for support.

Sitting there with a hard expression on his face was Valentine.

"Hello children. Why don't you sit down, we need to talk about something."

We sat down, and I moved my chair as far away as I could from my father and brother.

"Well children, it seems as if your mother," Valentine spit out, "wants you back."

Our mother, Jocelyn, left after two years of beatings. That was when I was four and Jonathon was six. That's when Valentine turned his rage on me. It started gradually, a slap here, a push there, so as not to break me. When I started to get to the age as to where I could take bigger things, Valentine had no mercy. I was 8 when my first thorough beating took place. Jonathon was ten.

_Flashback~_

_The door slammed shut and a pound on the wall was heard throughout the house. _

"_Clarissa Morgenstern! Get your butt down here now!" I swallowed hard when I heard the drunken rage in his voice. I put down my Barbie notebook I was scribbling in and slowly crept down the stairs. _

"_Y-yes father?"_

"_Don't stutter you pathetic worm of a girl! What took you so long!" He screamed. _

_I hung my head_ _and whispered, "I don't know father."_

_He slapped me across the face, hard enough to knock me down. _

"_Jonathon! Come here now!" He bellowed into the shadows of the house. _

"_No, father please. He didn't do anything wrong." I pleaded, my little kid voice squeaking with fear. I didn't want Jon to get hurt. My father didn't even answer, he just kicked me in the stomach._

_Jon appeared in the hallway looking scared. His wide coffee bean eyes were filled with sadness, fear, and horror when he saw me on the ground, a red hand mark on my face and clutching at my stomach, gasping for breath._

"_Son, I want you to watch and know why you should never be a stupid, ignorant, slow, lazy, worthless child. Learn from this experience." No one but a sick mad man would ever make his son watch his little sister get abused._

_That was the last though in my head before I was struck with an enormous amount of pain._

_I lay on the living room floor, unable to move without hurting. Jon crawled over to me._

"_Clary? Tell me where it hurts the most." I tilted my head and saw he had a warm wet towel in his hand. _

"_Everywhere." It was true. I couldn't pinpoint a single pain. It all mixed into one. _

_Jon had a few bruises from where my father had struck him after Jon had tried to help me up._

_He rubbed the towel and I flinched when he hit the big gash on my arm. _

_When we got done, we went to bed. I slept in his room that night._

_The next day I wore long pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a scarf to cover up any bruises or cuts. I had to make up excuses for the ones on my face._

_Flashback ends~_

"Clarissa? Did you hear what I said?" Valentine's sharp tone brought me back to reality with a scared squeak and a flinch away from the boys.

The principal looked at me with concern but quickly brushed it off as my father started to speak.

"I said that we are going to the court house right now. The principal has notified all your teachers of your absence throughout the rest of the week. Get your stuff and let's go."

As we got to the car, I got into the backseat and Jon got into the front. There was nothing said as we drove to the courthouse.


	2. The Court Case

I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, hearing the arguments but not listening to them. I just tried to forget everything and escape the world and all its horrors.

I hadn't seen my mother since I was two, and those memories were so faded, all I could make out was red hair and blurs. Then nothing. I had come to good terms with nothing over the years. After beatings, there was nothing. After tears, there was nothing. After words, there was always nothing. Nothing and no one. After a while, I realized nothing could be my friend. I hoped for nothing to be there when I got home. I hoped there was nothing my classmates could say to me. But nothing could also be my worst oppressor. They told me I was nothing. That my life was worth nothing.

But here I was, my memories clearing up at the sight of my mother. Since Jonathon was 18, he had the right to argue, so he was. He was arguing from him and me to stay with Valentine. There was yelling. I hated yelling. I hated the sound of it. They always yelled at me when I was beaten, saying it was my fault. They yelled those words at me. I just sat in my uncomfortable chair and stared straight ahead, not saying anything and trying not to quiver in fear of everything.

"Clarissa! Get up and answer me!" Valentine said in a slightly raised voice. I was scared. He grabbed me by the arm and hauled me up. Unfortunately for him, that was the arm he had twisted and beaten earlier that day.

I yelped. My eyes got wide. Valentine's eyes got wide. Jonathon's the same way.

I couldn't help it and started shaking. I knew from previous experiences that if I made any sound during or after a beating, it was just going to make things worse. Pain was still flashing through my nerves and I started hyperventilating from the fear of what would happen next. A small voice in the back of my mind kept saying nothing, we were in a court, they couldn't do anything in front of a judge, but my panic got the best of me. My eyes darted everywhere. I couldn't bear to see the look in my father and brother's eyes. My legs were trembling too much to hold me up anymore, and I collapsed. I couldn't breathe and wondered briefly if Valentine was choking me again. The next thing I saw was darkness.

I woke up a few minutes later to pure anarchy. Papers flying, muddled voices that didn't have owners, a pair of arms holding me. I hadn't had anyone hold me like that since Jon actually cared about me.

I looked up to a pair of green eyes. Like mine.

"Mom?" I said weakly.

"I'm here. I'm finally here." Valentine was screaming something about Jocelyn being on his side of the room.

Several minutes later, everything was back in somewhat order. I was sitting with a water bottle, being questioned.

"Clarissa Morgenstern. You are 16 years of age, correct?"

"Yes." I said quietly.

"Your mother has recorded cases of abuse from Valentine to herself. We have to ask you now because of your panic attack. Has Valentine ever abused you?"

I glanced over at where my father and brother were standing. My father was staring at me expectantly, as if waiting for my answer. As if he didn't already know. Jonathon was gazing at me with a look that was clearly threatening me and ready to pounce on Valentine's command if I slipped up.

"I-no, he hasn't." The judge didn't look convinced.

"Can you explain what triggered your attack?"

"I've never had one before. Maybe it was all the noise. It surprised me, that's all."

"As much as I would like to believe you, Clarissa, I am going to have to have you get a physical exam tonight, at 7:00 pm sharp in room 210 of this building."

I looked at the clock. It read 6:01 pm. I looked at Valentine. The rage in his eyes was terrifying. A few more arguments were brought forth until the judge called out.

"This case is postponed until tomorrow at 8:00am, I will need the defendant and the accuser to report to room 201.

Everyone left. There was nothing, once again.

6:45. 15 minutes.

"Father, I need to go the room. May I go?" I said in a shaking, quiet voice. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have dared asking him a question, but this wasn't a normal circumstance.

"Clarissa, before you go, let's talk." He pulled me into a hallway that was completely barren.

"I-I'm sorry father."

"You worthless slime, you want me to go to jail, don't you?" he whispered.

"I tried father, I really did!"

"No you didn't. You weren't convincing enough. You are never enough! If this weren't happening right now, you would wish you were never even conceived is how hard I would beat you. Why anyone would want you is beyond my comprehension. You should be grateful and actually try because I deal with you every day. You are nothing, Clarissa. Nothing to me. Nothing to the world. Nothing to society. Why you even bother makes everyone cringe. Nobody wants you. No one."

With that he shoved me, harder than necessary, in the direction of room 210.

I made my way to the door, pushing all of my emotions down, as I had done so many times before. Pushing my hurt, pain, anger, hate, sadness, depression down and out of sight. Tears were not an option. Valentine used to beat me for every tear that fell. He had Jonathon count them.

I stepped into the room. A nurse with black hair and olive skin looked up at me. Her hazel eyes gazed at me with concern.

"Clarissa Morgenstern?"

"Yes."

"Hi. I'm Sadie. I'll be doing your check-up. First off, I'm going to need you to step inside that shower and remove your clothing. There is a towel for you once you get done with the shower."

I followed orders as I had done my whole life.

I stepped outside with clean skin, removed of any make-up or any means of which I had to use to cover myself.

"The door is locked. I'm going to ask you to step out of the towel. I know it may be uncomfortable, but it is necessary for the checkup."

I didn't want to do this. What will Valentine say when he finds out someone else knows? He'll beat me again. That's what would happen. But there was a nagging voice saying that if someone knows, it would help. I listened to that voice this time and dropped the towel.

A gasp came from the nurse's mouth.

"Oh Clarissa."


	3. Break-In

_I didn't want to do this. What will Valentine say when he finds out someone else knows? He'll beat me again. That's what would happen. But there was a nagging voice saying that if someone knows, it would help. I listened to that voice this time and dropped the towel._

_A gasp came from the nurse's mouth._

"_Oh Clarissa."_

…

What she saw may have made other people look away. Some stare in pity. Others may have freaked out.

My body was covered with bruises; some fresh, some older. My body's skin color was purple, blue, black, and green. My ribs jutted out from where I was too hurt too eat. The bags under my eyes had been washed of the make-up and no longer concealed the nights spent nursing my wounds and crying when no one could hear me.

"Clarissa, you do know that I'm going to have to tell someone about this, right?"

Hesitantly I nodded my head.

"The way you hold your left arm, does it hurt?" Again, I nodded my head.

"What happened to that arm?" At this, I drew the line. I bit my lip and the nurse must have saw my expression of hurt and struggle.

"it's okay, why don't you cover up again and sit down. I have to write some things down." So I did and wondered what would happen.

_Will I have to go back to Valentine after this? Will this show up in court? What was I thinking, all I've done is make it worse._

A thousand thoughts and questions ran through my head, not stopping for an answer.

After the nurse finished what she was writing on her clipboard, she turned to me again. We proceeded with the checkup.

After I was done, I got dressed and opened the door, only to see my mother waiting for me.

"Hey Clary, let's take a walk." My heart constricted in my chest. That's what Valentine said when he got bored with the living room floor. But this was my mother. _And? What do you know about her? She hasn't been in your life for 14 years now. How can you trust her?_

She must have seen my internal battle, because she let a small, sad smile appear on her face.

"It's ok, you can trust me. I'm not like Valentine."

_Are you? Because I spent 14 years dealing with his rage with no one but my brother to help me. Then even he stopped caring. You let him abuse me for 14 years until you did anything about it. How does that make you any less of a person than Valentine is? You may not hit me, but how am I ever supposed to love a woman who just stood by and let this happen? Different crime, but I still hate both of you._

That's what I wanted to say. All the thoughts I conceived during my aloneness came bubbling to the surface and seemed very tempting to say at the present time.

But I didn't.

Instead, I muttered a quiet "ok" and started to walk with her.

"Clary, I saw your reports." I felt like someone had pressed a 'fear' button in me. "Clary, bruises all over? The looks of a slightly dislocated shoulder? Why did you lie in the courts?"

"Because I knew Valentine would beat me if I said anything different." This was the first time I was openly talking about the abuse.

"And why doesn't Jonathon seem to have many marks?" I didn't answer this question.

"Clary, I'm taking this to court tomorrow. Valentine will be arrested for child abuse and you and Jon can come and live with me." Jon living with me still? I knew what would happen. He would take on Valentine's role.

My thoughts were cut off by a figure appearing in front of us.

"Clarissa. What took you so long? We've been looking for you, and you kept us waiting." That's when Valentine noticed Jocelyn beside me.

"You aren't taking her." Jocelyn said. "I know what you do to her." Valentine shot me a venomous look.

"It isn't your business what I do to her and what I don't do to her. For the time being, you forget she still is my daughter. Under my custody."

"You will not hurt her anymore. Just admit what you've done and save yourself the humility of a public arrest."

Valentine leaned in close to her ear.

"I wouldn't do that. We wouldn't want to cause any trouble would we? You know what I can fully do." At this, Jocelyn shuddered and took a slight step backwards.

Valentine gripped my wrist so tightly I knew there would be bruises in the morning. He pulled me away quickly and I stumbled, causing him to turn around and raise his hand. I flinched and turned my head, expecting the sharp pain of his slap, but it never came.

I timidly opened my eyes and Valentine had dropped his hand. I realized this was only because we were in a court house. He pulled me stiffly to the car and practically threw me into the backseat. Jonathon was already in the front seat.

Tonight, nothing was my best friend.

For once, my father and brother said nothing to me. For once, no hits came to me as soon as the door closed behind us. Instead, Valentine took me by the hair and dragged me stumbling to the basement. He threw me on the ground and said, thankfully, nothing. He just stomped back up in rage and slammed the door. I heard the comforting sound of the lock clicking, knowing no one came down after that lock clicked. For the first time in 14 years, there were no harsh words or hits that night. It may not have been the perfect life, but it was better than my normal life.

I fell asleep with my head resting on the pile of old, dusty, torn baby clothes I slept on when he locked me down here, which was most nights.

I woke up to noises upstairs. Crashes, yelling. Oh, how I hated yelling. I listened in fear; wondering if my father was on a drunken rage again. Something hit the door-hard. Then it was lifted. The door handle rattled, shaking with someone trying to get down there. It rattled harder and harder until I heard the telltale clicking of the lock being picked. I sat paralyzed. The door opened and a bulky figure stood in the doorway.

"Clarissa? Clarissa Morgenstern? Are you down there?" It was a deep voice. "I'm going to turn the lights on." I barely had enough time to dash behind boxes before the dim lights flickered on.

Steps down the stairs. Rustling around the boxes near me. All the sudden, a face was in front of my curled up form. Olive skin, blue eyes, black hair.

"Clarissa, it's ok, I'm a police officer. We've taken your father. He's not going to touch you again."

A part of me rejoiced. It circled around and threw confetti in the air and rejoiced for all it was worth. But then the other part was asking unanswered questions again.

_How can I trust him? What if my father escapes? He'll come straight to me, and kill me. _That thought chilled me to the bone.

"It's ok, we've come to take you and your brother to the court house. You can stay there for the rest of tonight, and then go home with your mother tomorrow once the papers are all filled out."

I shakily stood up and took the officer's hand.

"I'm Officer Robert Lightwood."

"C-Clary."

"Come on, you should get as much rest as you can, you'll have a long day tomorrow."


	4. Reconciliation

_Ahahaha! Betcha guys don't see what coming in this chapter! By the way, thanks to all you who have favorited, followed, and reviewed this story! It inspires me to write and update faster when I know there are people who actually read my stories! So thank you and keep reviewing!_

_-swimmergirl103_

…_._

I laid on the scratchy sheets of the temporary bedroom in the court house, restless. I thought about how my life had changed so quickly in the blink of an eye, and how it could change back just as quickly.

The door handle rattled, breaking me from my thoughts. The nurses had locked the door to my room, so that no one would disturb my sleep. It rattled again and I heard a sigh from outside the room. A couple of clinks later, I heard a little _tnk _as the lock gave way.

_Why are people always picking locks to my room? Can I not have any privacy?_

The frame of a person stepped into the room. The frame of a person I knew too well.

Jonathon.

I sucked in a breath as he approached me cautiously, carefully.

"Clare-bear? Hey." He hadn't used that pet name since I was nine. I didn't answer, so he kept talking.

"How are you? Are you okay?" I was really confused. He sat on the end of my bed. My expression was guarded.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"Checking on you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my sister and I care about you." I got really angry then. More angry than scared for the first time since I was 8.

"You care about me? You have a strange way of showing it then. All those years of helping dad. Counting tears and muffled screams so he could beat me more. Abusing me with words at school, when dad wasn't even there. You don't care about me. If you did, you never would have stopped trying to help me. You gave up on me when I was little. I didn't know what was happening. And you stopped helping me because you would be hurt. You stopped because dad would hit you once then tell you to get away. Then you would watch as I got five times what you had gotten. You don't care about me." That was the most I had spoken for a while now. If I spoke without a question being asked to me at home, I would be hit. And at school, everyone hated me, so I had no one to talk to. I used to talk quietly to myself in the basement because I was scared I would lose the ability to talk.

I was always scared. From the moment the beatings started, I was scared every minute of every day. I was scared of people and words alike because I knew they could both hurt you. And I would probably be scared forever. I would never really lose my fear.

"Clary, you don't know how much it pained me to see you get hurt. I would've gotten the beatings with you but Dad wouldn't let me. You probably don't remember this, but he would hit me, tell me to get back and when I tried to help you again, he would just hit around me. He wouldn't hit me, but he wouldn't let you go until I stopped. I thought that maybe if I stopped all together, the beatings would get less intense or shorter. And as for at school, I don't have an excuse except that I was an idiot. I listened to my friends. I didn't take the chance to protect you when I could. And I was stupid for that. Do you know the reason everyone didn't like you at school?"

I shook my head, not believing what he was saying.

"It was because of me. I-I lied to them. Told them terrible things about you. I made you sound like the worst person ever. And it worked. They hated you but loved me."

I stared at him, my gaze steely.

"I'm so sorry. I tried to make things easier for you at home. I tried heating towels and smuggling them to you, but Valentine found out and started locking the door to the basement and keeping the key. I did get away with grinding up pain medicine and putting it in your water. I wish I could've done more, I should've done more. I'm so sorry Clary."

I could see tears making paths down his face. A small sob escaped his lips.

"I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry, I understand if you hate me."

Slowly, I got up and sat by him with my hands in my lap. Inch by inch, my hand made its way to his and took it. He looked up at me, black into green. He let out a breath of relief and wrapped his arms around me, holding me like a starving man would hold a loaf of bread. I flinched a little bit, not used to these touches that weren't to hurt me.

"I'm not going to let anything-or anybody- hurt you. Ever again. We can go back to the way it used to be." But I knew better. I knew things would never be the way they used to be. I wouldn't be able to trust him fully ever again.

"I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep." I said uncomfortably. Jon let me go.

"Ok. Goodnight Clary. I love you."

"Goodnight Jonathon." I couldn't say that I loved him. Not yet. He was my brother, but he also used to be one of my many tormentors.

I fell asleep thinking of what he said. If it was true or if he was just trying to get me to trust him again.

The nurse who gave me a check-up woke me up.

"You have the day to gather up all the things you want to take from your father's home. You'll be moving in with your mother tonight. Someone will drive you over."

She set a tray full of toast, peanut butter, eggs and bacon in front of me.

"We want you to finish this whole tray. You're a little malnourished, so you're going to be eating a lot the next few days, okay?"

I nodded my slightly. The nurse left. I started eating my calorie-dense breakfast.

Boy was this going to be a long day.


	5. Of Possesions and Angel Drawings

_Hey, thanks for reviewing! These are a few of the Q&As asked in reviews:_

_**Is Luke going to come into Clary's life?**__ Yes, yes he is._

_**When does Jace show up? **__I know the story has been Jace-less so far, but he'll come in in the next chapter or two._

_**Are Alec and Izzy in this? **__Yep, they'll appear with Jace._

_**Are you going to explain why Jocelyn left them and didn't come back till now? **__Course she is._

…

After breakfast, I didn't have a change of clothes, but I went into the bathroom and took a shower. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair out with the complementary items that were surely going to be disposed of once I left. I stepped out into the hallway and found Jon waiting for me.

He gave me a smile and I returned a weak half-smile.

"You ready?"

"Ready for what?" I said with my eyes trained on the floor.

"We're going to go pick up anything we're taking from dad's to move into Jo-Mom's."

I walked past him and towards the door. I still didn't trust him. Part of me wanted to desperately, to have a big brother again, someone to talk to, hug, and protect me.

He fell into step with me. We walked silently to the car that used to be Dad's. Now it was Jon's I guess.

I was about get into the backseat when my body froze. So many bad memories in that one backseat. Jon put his hand gently on my shoulder. I gave a squeak of fear.

"Clary, it's ok. Valentine's gone; he's in jail. Why don't you sit in the passenger's seat?"

I made my way over to the other side of the car, willing my heart to slow down.

When we arrived at the house, I got out quickly and opened the door. It had been so dark last night that I didn't see all the damage. Two couches were overturned, a lamp was broken, of the three dining chairs, one had a leg broken off, one was in the hallway, and one was on its side at the table.

Jon came up behind me.

"He put up quite the struggle. The police had to chase him around the whole house. He tried to fight back, landed a couple of punches and kicks on a few of them and tried to use the chair leg as a weapon. They finally tackled him and pushed him against the basement door to cuff him. Three of the officers took him to the cruiser and one came to get me. I stayed in my room the whole time. Valentine kept yelling my name, telling me to help him. As if," Jon said with hate, "as if I would help the sick man who tortured me mentally my whole childhood knowingly. Another came in and said he checked your room and that you weren't there, so they asked me. I told them where you were and one went to get you. Then everything else happened."

We stood there like that for another minute, reliving some of the memories made in this house; some good, some bad.

"We should get going." I said quietly. We went to our rooms to collect any belongings. Not that I had much.

I walked around my room. I remembered how my mom would sing us lullabies and tell us stories of angels and men mixing. The pale purple walls that were once full of drawings had long been stripped of the happiness it held, its color faded and dull. The cream carpet was scattered with paper and clothing. I got my backpack from my closet and started packing up. I filled it with all the clothes that still fit me, drawings that I actually cared about, my music box I kept hidden from my father, and my precious stuffed horse, Mayflower. I ran out of space after that. I went to the kitchen and got a few plastic bags we kept under the sink. I stood up and turned around, then froze. Sitting on the end of the table was Valentine. My breath got uneven as my father stared at me.

"Miss me?" He asked. "Answer me you worthless filth." I stood paralyzed. He got up and came towards me threatening, raising his fist. I flinched back, closing my eyes, and as he was about to strike, I screamed.

Jon rushed into the room.

"Clary! Clary, what happened, what's wrong?" I opened my eyes and there was no Valentine. I let out a sob and stared to sink to my knees. Jon caught me and sank with me, holding me in his arms.

"Shh, Clare, it was just a flashback. There's nothing wrong, no one's here. Why don't we leave?" I shook my head, composing myself.

"Let's finish this first." Jon nodded uncertainly.

I walked back to my room and started a sweep of my room. A corner of something under my bed caught my eye. I ran my hand under my bed and came up with my stash of dwindling art supplies and sketchbook, flipping through it. I came to a blank page and took out a piece of charcoal. Staining my fingers black, I started working to release my nerves. My hand swept over the surface, creating shapes that I soon recognized to be the form of a human-well, sort of. Once done with the body, I made the outline of a perfect pair of unfurling wings. An angel. I looked down at the work I had conceived without thought. His stance radiated pure confidence. His legs looked as if he was stepping forward to protect the one he loved. His face was set in such a way it would make any woman take a second glance. The white wings curled around him. His golden curls were set a top his head in a way no hair artist would be able to copy it. (**Link to picture:** art/City-of-Angels-Jace-204652086) It took my breath away. Quickly turning the page, I started another drawing. After ten minutes, it began to take similar form. It was the same angel. His face looking to the side, observing something. Golden hair tousled. His form seemed to be appearing from swirls of black mist, like a mirage. His white wings were almost translucent. (**Link to picture:** art/Jace-Wayland-297261205) It was a figure of perfection.

By this time, all nerves were gone and so was the time. Jon came into my room.

"Almost ready?" I packed everything left into the plastic bag.

"Yes."

The car ride back was silent, like every other car ride she had. Their mother was waiting for them when they got back. She was standing in front of a silver Lamborghini Murcielago. Jon raised his eyebrows.

"Dang Mom, what do you do for a living?" She shot him a small smile.

"I'm a pretty well-known artist. Put you stuff in the back." We loaded up our stuff and climbed in.

"We'll get rid of your old car, alright? I know it probably doesn't hold that many good memories. Anyways, It's about an hour and a half drive to my house, you may as well get comfortable."

With that, they peeled out of the driveway and were on their way.


	6. AN: Poll!

_Hey guys! Just a heads up, I'll have another chapter up by today or tomorrow, so yeah… Anyways, I'm posting this because I need you guys to do something for me. I need you to go onto my profile and vote in the poll I have created. The question: What should become of Jonathon? _

_Please participate! Happy New Year Everyone!_

_-swimmergirl103_


	7. Of Fathers and Shopping Trips

The ride there gave me time to think. I thought about having to start a new school, having to adjust to a new home, a new parent, so many other new things. We pulled into the driveway of Jocelyn's house.

It wasn't a small house, but it wasn't a mansion either. It had a cream colored outside color. The door was a pale bluish almost gray color and there were windows peeking from the main floor and the upstairs.

We got out and surveyed the property. It was a nice sized lawn. Big enough to be able to play around with a ball in. Mom led us into the house, where the best aroma I had smelled in a long time waited for us. From one of the rooms, a voice called out.

"Hey Jocelyn, you home? Are the kids with you?" Mom laughed.

"Why don't you come out here and meet our two new additions to the family?" We heard a clatter and someone walking towards us.

A man who looked to be in his forties came around the corner. He was tall and had salt and pepper hair that had a few thin streaks of gray here and there. He was smiling and had a friendly looking face. I thought I heard my mother let out a breath.

"Kids, this is Luke. He-He's my husband." He smiled and extended his hand towards me. I flinched and he looked concerned. Mom looked uncomfortable and Jon still just looked plain shocked.

"Um, Luke? I need to talk to you really quick. Kids, you can get your stuff and choose any room upstairs except the first one on the right and first three on the left."

We collected our stuff and went to explore the upstairs. There were about eight rooms, four on the right and four on the left. They were separated by a walkway with no walls but a railing that the stairs merged into. There were three open rooms on the right and one on the left.

I came to the first open room on the right and started checking it out. But I knew this wasn't the one I wanted. It was right across from mom's room and also right by where the hallway opened up into the walkway. I took a look at the next room. It was cozy, but I liked open. I had been pent up in small spaces for too long. The next room was fairly empty with a bed and dresser. It had a door that seemed to lead right into the next room. I took another look around and saw there was a closet in the corner as well. I followed the door and found it was a connected bathroom. I walked into the next room and immediately knew I wanted this one. It was the biggest of them, if only slightly than the last one it was connected too, and had more windows since it was facing outside on two of the walls instead of one. It had a bed, a dresser and a rectangular closet to the left of the door of the bathroom. A little knock on the door startled me, but it opened anyway. My mom stood there gazing at the room.

"I had a feeling you would find this room. It was always one of my favorites. There's a lot of ground space to do whatever you want. So, we can go to the store tomorrow and pick out some bed sheets you like. And whatever you else you need. I'm just gonna make a wild guess here and judging by what you put everything in say you and me are going to go clothes shopping tomorrow."

"That sounds nice." Mom smiled.

"Well, dinner's ready and you can come on down to eat." I followed her down to the kitchen/dining area and sat down to a plate of spaghetti, salad, and bread.

As soon as we started eating, Luke started to fill us in on how things were going to go the next few days.

"So, we've enrolled both of you in Idris High School. You'll start next week. Until then, we thought it was best for you guys to get adjusted and rest and try to resume your normal routines."

"Why were those bedrooms off limits?" Jon asked.

"Oh, well, the one on the right is your mother and I's room and the other three, well, we occasionally have guests that stay with us for days at a time."

"Oh." All that could be heard for the rest of the meal was the clinking of forks against plates.

When the dishes had been loaded into the dishwasher, Luke decided he wanted to talk to me. Just the thought of being alone in a room with a man I had only met that day sent all my muscles into flight mode.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't know what had happened. Jocelyn had left saying something about her kids but never explained why she had to get you guys. And I just wanted to tell you, you can trust me. I wouldn't hurt you if my life depended on it. Clary, if you'd let me, I would love be your father. I would protect you forever and I know we just met, but you are my daughter now, and I love you already. Will you let me do this? I'm not going to make you make this decision right now, I know you've had a rough past with people, but would you consider it? Because I've always wanted children. But I don't think this would work out if the trust only goes one way."

"I think it may take some time, but I think a fresh start to start trusting again is with a new person. So yes, I think this may work out."

Luke smiled. "I promise, I will never harm you in any way." With this, he hugged me gently. I still flinched, but I trusted him.

"Old habits." I said.

"I know." Luke chuckled.

…

The next day, I woke up at 8 to my mom coming into my room.

"Hey Clary, you want to go the store with me?" I blinked.

"Um, sure, I guess, of course that's if you want me with you."

"Of course I want you with me." Spite rose up again. _I wish you had realized that earlier._

I mentally shook my head and went to change.

"Um, I washed your clothes. I'll go get them for you. Why don't you take a shower?"

I felt the water pounding down on me, and I wished I could stay here. The memories didn't come when I was in the shower, it's like I couldn't think of bad things when I was in there. But after I finished, I dragged myself out of the bathroom and found my clothes lying on the bed. I changed into a pair of old jeans and a paint splattered shirt. I brushed my wild red hair out and pulled it back into a ponytail.

I went down the stairs and into the kitchen, where my mom had eggs and toast ready for me. Finally, we were into the car and arrived at the mall.

There were so many people.

Three hours later, I had a bunch of new clothes, new bed sheets, new art supplies (complete with a promise I could paint my room any way I wanted to at any time), and a cell phone.

We were on the way home when I asked the question that had been plaguing my mind ever since the whole ordeal had begun.

"Mom?"

"Yes Clary?"

"W-Why didn't you come for us earlier?" Jocelyn was quiet for minutes.

"Because I was scared. I was terrified of Valentine. He did unspeakable things to me, and I was terrified that if I did come back for you guys, somehow I would end up alone with him and everything would go back to the terrible way they were before I gained the courage to run away."

"You know, I was scared too."

"Oh Clary, I know. And there are some nights when I felt so guilty about leaving you two with that monster that the only thing keeping me sane was Luke. I couldn't live with myself. You guys were the only things on my mind for all those years."

"I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening. And there was no one I could trust. No one who was there for me. No one."

"I'm sorry Clary, for the pain I let you endure."

We were home. I went straight to my room. I got out my art supplies and, knowing I would paint over it, started drawing on the walls. I drew anything and everything. I drew myself. A self portrait of sorts. Not my actual appearance. I drew what I felt. I drew my anger, my hurt, my pain, sadness, depression, hunger for somebody. For once, I didn't know what I was drawing.

I just drew.


	8. The Next Challenge-School

_Hey, guys. Guess what time it is? IT'S JACE TIME! Jace will finally be part of the story! Even if it is just the meeting…but whatever. Don't forget to vote in the poll! Please please please please PLEASE! I need your votes for the story to go on! And just a heads up, I'm taking it down on Sunday the 12__th__ of January, so vote before then! You get to decide if nothing or something happens to Jon!_

_-swimmergirl103_

_(Just a reminder: Clary, Simon, and Isabelle are sophomores, Jace is a junior, Jonathon and Alec are seniors.)_

…

I wasn't ready to go through any more emotional or mental abuse at the moment and going to school wasn't going to help it. But it was already set. Jon and I would go in together and get our schedules, and then we would go with someone to show us where to go. Since I was a sophomore and Jon was a senior, it was unlikely for us to have any classes together. I would be on my own for the whole day.

From my previous experience from my other school, I was scared of what kind of people I would find here. Idris High. Maybe there would be separated groups; the preps, jocks, nerds, drop outs, the misfits. Maybe they would be exactly like the people at my old school; those who worship and believe every word the populars say. Or maybe they are all friends, and unicorns give rides to classes and they serve five star meals at lunch. Wouldn't that be great. But it isn't and I still don't have a clue to what this school is going to be like.

I willed myself with every ounce of power in my body to get sick or something. I did not want to go to school. I mean, with a past like mine, I was still having problems. I was still having problems with trust, physical interaction of any kind, and fear. There was still a whole bunch of fear. I wouldn't be like Jon and automatically be popular and adored. I have, let's just say some social issues.

But there I was, standing in front of the school; the standard, stereotyped brick building with a freshly manicured lawn and students milling around socializing. Jon looked at me with concern.

"Clare, are you going to be okay? You are really pale."

"It's just, our old school, and old life and-" I was cut off by the lump that had been forming in my throat.

"I won't let anybody do anything to you Clary. I promise. If anyone bothers you, you tell me. They can't do anything to you without doing the same to me."

"Let's get our schedules."

We walked to the main building, ignoring the stares, whispers, giggles and points. I knew immediately that Jon would be a big hit. Of course.

Once we were into the reception office, we were ushered by the busy looking lady into another office.

There was a desk. A chair facing the opposite way like Dr. Evil was going to turn around with his cat. But when the chair turned, Panic engulfed me. Sitting in the chair was Valentine.

"Welcome, children."

And I screamed. I collapsed and scrambled to the wall, hunching over in fear and trembling.

Strong arms wrapped around me. A voice whispered in my ear.

"Shh, Clary, Clary it's okay. It's just the principal. Shh, he's in jail, he can't hurt you anymore. I'm here. Shh. It's ok. Clary, calm down. Everything's fine." Finally the panic passed and Jon helped me up onto my shaky legs. Tears still made their way down my face but I wiped them away. Jon sat me in a chair. I looked up at the spot I had just minutes before, but there was no Valentine. In his place stood a very worried looking woman.

"Are you alright?" I nodded my head. Jon didn't look convinced.

"I don't think you're ready for this. Not yet. I'm calling mom, or Luke, or somebody to take you home. Maybe next week."

"No Jon. I'm fine. Really. I just, panicked a little there. I thought I saw…him."

"That's the second time. Clary come on. You aren't ready yet."

"Yes I am Jonathon." He shut up when he heard his whole name. I had recently been calling him Jon because when I called him Jonathon, it reminded me of the bad days when he couldn't help me. When I had hated him.

The woman cleared her throat. She had chocolate colored skin and long straight black hair pulled into a ponytail. Soft dark brown eyes stared in concern.

"Um, ok. Let's start over. I'm Miss Vale. You may address me as Principal Vale. You must be Jonathon and Clary. I understand that you have had an-erm-troubled past, home and school, and I just wanted to say that you can start over here. You are welcome here. Here are your schedules, and we've arranged for students at your grade level with the same schedule to show you around. Jonathon, you will meet a boy by the name of Sebastian in your first class period in room 203, which is up the stairs and the first door to your left. Clary, you will meet a girl named Isabelle in your first class period in room 109, which is at the end of this hallway. Good luck on your first day."

We left the room and Jon stopped me in the waiting room, which led to the hallways.

"Clary, if anything happens, just shut everything out. Don't think about anything. It will work. Please be careful. See you after school. I'll meet you right here right after school, okay?" I nodded. He hugged me and left. Still shaken up from the panic attack, I opened the door, only to run into something-or rather someone. I was knocked down and looked up at the person in fear, already trembling again. I wasn't used to touching someone and not being hurt. The person was gorgeous. Golden hair, golden skin, he even had golden eyes. He smirked down at me.

"You know, I'm used to being stared at, Red, but you didn't have to pretend to run into me just to get to touch my gorgeous self." Then he noticed the trembling and fear in my eyes. He crouched down, concern shining in his beautiful eyes. "Hey Red, are you ok? I didn't mean for my looks to scare you." I could tell that he was still really concerned, even behind the joke.

"Y-yeah, I'm just-never mind, I need to go." I quickly scrambled off the floor and out the door, leaving the boy looking dazed and confused.

I looked at all the room numbers as I passed them; 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, and finally the last room in the hall right beside a set of doors read 109. I felt like I was going to be sick. I put my hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath, then I twisted and made my way into the classroom.


	9. Meeting Isabelle

_This will a longer chapter, sorry for the shortness of the other one! And I just wanted to clear up for a question asked that Magnus will regretfully not be making an appearance in the story. I really like Magnus's character and all and would write about him but the way I would portray him and Alec would most likely upset some of you. If you want to know the reason, PM me because I don't want to post what I would say to everyone whether they wanted to know it or not, so I'll give you the choice there. Enjoy!_

_-swimmergirl103_

…

Shuffling to the teacher's desk, I was glad only about a quarter of the class was in the room. The teacher looked up at me. Recognizing me as new, he smiled warmly.

"Hello. You must be," he looked down at his attendance sheet," Clarissa Fray."

"Just Clary please."

"Ok, my name is . I understand that Isabelle has been assigned to take you to your classes?"

"Um, I think that's what Principal Vale said."

"Alright then. Isabelle? Would you come up here please?"

One of the girls in the classroom rose and started walking towards the desk. She was gorgeous. Silky black hair and vibrant blue eyes. Long legs clad in skinny jeans that made them look longer. I immediately felt self-conscious of my frizzy red hair, dull green eyes, and short stature.

"Yes Mr. Starkweather?"

"Isabelle, this is Clary Fray. You will be-"

"-taking her to her classes today, right?"

"Yes, that is what I was going to say."

"This is soooo cool! I'm really excited to meet you! I'm Isabelle Lightwood and-"

"Miss Lightwood? How about we handle the talking in between classes? For now, let's stick to sitting together and getting ready to start the lesson." I noticed the clock read that there was only a minute until class started and that most of the spots were filling with students.

"Come on, let's go grab a spot." Isabelle said excitedly.

_She sure has a bubbly personality, _I thought.

We quickly managed to snatch a table to ourselves. Isabelle wasted no time in turning to me and start talking.

"So as I was saying earlier, I'm Isabelle, but I prefer to be called Izzy. I love shopping and make-overs and looking good. You have the prettiest eyes, you know that? I bet with a little eyeliner, they would pop right out and-"

"Iz, remember to breathe in between sentences." A voice said from behind me. I turned around, not knowing who it was. I turned to face a girl with light brown skin and dark brown hair tied in a braid on her shoulder. She had chocolate eyes and was half-smiling at me.

"Hi, I'm Maia. I see you've met Izzy, the faster talker in the whole school. She likes to let people know who she is."

"Hi, I'm Clary."

"You know what I've noticed in the short time we've known each other? You're really quiet and shy. I think we're going to be best friends. Opposites attract you know!" Maia laughed and left to sit by a lanky boy with shaggy brown hair and a mischievous smirk on his face.

"That's Jordan, he and Maia have been dating for the past two months."

"Ok, class. Settle down now. Welcome back from the weekend! Today in World History, we'll be learning about-" That was about as much as I got before my attention drifted to the black notebook in front of me. My hand rose up almost involuntarily to start sketching. I started out with dandelion fluff in the air. I paid attention to the details of the stems and then started on the meadow they would be in. I drew the grass and flowers ruffling in the breeze that swept the fluff off the original stem. I made sure I drew the empty stem standing taller and standing out from the rest of the meadow. I drew trees in the background and a few birds flying above them.

"That's really good you know." Izzy whispered from her spot of intently watching me sketch. My face burned in embarrassment; I hadn't noticed her watching me for the past hour.

"Th-thanks, I guess." Izzy smiled a little.

"You really don't know how to take a compliment, do you?"

"I guess I just haven't ever gotten a lot of them in the first place."

"I was going to tell you that the bells gonna ring in about five minutes. You'd better pack up."

I got all my things into a pile and just as I finished, the bell rang.

"Let's go!" Izzy yelled from halfway across the room. I got up and quickly followed her. I made sure to stay right behind her in the hall, because I wasn't about to get lost and ask some random stranger. We arrived at a classroom finally, and as soon as I stepped into the classroom, the bell rang. Izzy and I found open seats and the teacher turned around. She had graying hair pulled into a bun and glasses.

"Good morning class." It all continued on for another hour and a half until the bell rang.

"It's our lunch period now. I'll take you to the lunch room and you can sit with me." We weaved our way through the halls once again and came to an open door with a long line of people standing, waiting.

"Well, this sucks. It's usually not this packed, but there must be a test going on today, so some of the older students are here. Woah, who is that!?" She said suddenly. I followed her gaze and my eyes fell onto familiar white blond hair on top of a tall, lithe body. Dark brown eyes, no longer black with cruelty, were staring at me, a smirk plastered onto his face as guy were trying to talk to him while girls were practically draping themselves onto his arms.

"Hehe, looks like he has some intrest in you, Clary!"

"Uh, Isabelle-"

"Izzy."

"-Izzy I mean. Well, that's my brother. I'm sure that's not the case."

He stepped out of his place in the front of the line and came to stand back by us.

"Hey Clary, how are you? Anyone been bothering you?" A picked up on the faint trace of concern in his tone.

"No one's bothering me. And Jon, for the last time today, I'm fine. It was just my imagination this morning. I'm still not over everything, it's only been a week since-since-"

"Clare, stop torturing yourself. Try not to think about it."

"It's hard not to."

"Just try, alright?" With that he walked back up to his previous spot, continuing what he was doing before, making new friends and flirting with numerous girls.

"Hmm, mysterious sibling talk. I like it. I'm picking up something here. I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that you move here because of something bad and need to start over. I'm also picking up a lot of brotherly over-protectiveness here."

"If we ever get to know each other better, I still don't know if I would be able to tell you the whole story without having to be admitted to a mental hospital. But let's just say that me and Jon haven't had the best lives."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure we get to know each other better." Izzy said while we picked up our lunches finally. We made our way around tables, some occasional catcalls directed towards Izzy. She just ignored them and went on her way, leading me towards a table with some people trying to make room for everyone.

"Hey guys, meet Clary, she's new here." There was a chorus of hellos' and hey's and hi's from around the table. We sat down and Izzy started introducing me to the people at the table.

"This is Alec, and he's my brother." She gestured to a boy across the table who was obviously her brother. He had black hair and electric blue eyes just like Izzy.

"And you already know Maia and Jordan. And last but not least is Simon." The boy looked up at me from under glasses, brown eyes blinking. His brown hair looked as if he hadn't brushed it that morning. And although it was Izzy introducing me, I could tell right away that his attention was pretty much glued to Izzy.

The moment we sat down, Another body pushed its onto Simon and Alec's bench, nearly knocking Simon off.

"And this stunning man who can do anything and everything, is known by many names; some being The Awsomest Guy In School, Hottie, Big-Shot, Superstar, and Mr. Cool, but is most commonly known as Jace. Please, grace us with your real name, Red." Izzy sighed.

"Yes, and this is Jace, the most arrogant, big-headed, player in the whole school. And he is also unfortunately my adopted brother."

I looked up at the boy and froze. It was the boy I had run into on accident this morning.

"Her name is Clary. Not Red." Izzy said.

"Aww, but I like Red."

"Please don't call me Red." I said quietly. That was the nickname Jon used to call me at our old school, when he was still terrible to me. Jace got a look in his eyes and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hm. You are a very strange girl. So why did you run off this morning? You looked so scared. Why were you so scared? Did something happen in the office? Is it because you're new here? Did somebody hurt you?"

"It's none of your business why she did. If she doesn't want to answer let it be and I would suggest you stop prying." Said a steely voice from behind Jace. I raised my eyes and saw Jon standing there, glaring daggers into the back of Jace's head. Jace raised his head and turned around, eyes turned hard from being challenged like that.

"And who-" As he was halfway up and in the middle of saying something smart, Alec pulled him back down and looked him in the eyes.

"Jace, no. Mom already warned you about any more fights." Jace scowled and took his tray up, uneaten, and moved to a different table that had some popular looking people at it. He sat down and immediately a girl with blond hair dyed to the roots and clothes that looked as if they barely fit her basically climbed into his lap and started trying to flirt and kiss him. And the sick thing was that he just let it happen.

"Ugh, that's Michaela. Otherwise known as the girl who thinks she's the queen and has dated just about everyone in this school not counting the boys at this table. Her and Jace basically belong together." But I could tell different. Izzy may have wanted to sound disgusted and mean, but I could tell that she just didn't like the girl and wanted Jace to stay away from her.

Jon crouched down by me and started talking.

"Hey Clary, mom is going to pick you up in the admissions office today instead of me, ok? One of my friends said that the soccer team was having tryouts today and I'm going to that. See you tonight." He got up and left to sit at a table full of jock-looking guys. I also noticed Jace had untangled himself from Michaela and had gone to sit at the same table.

We finished our lunches, Izzy talking about anything and everything and finally we went to go take our trays up and head to class.

First dramatic lunch - complete.


	10. Of Thinking and Dresses

_Hey guys, I just wanted to apologize for some of the grammar and spelling that's been wrong here recently. For some reason, Microsoft Word isn't picking up on some of the mistakes I've noticed and FanFiction actually cut out a name. The first teacher in the last chapter was supposed to be Mr. Starkweather…for some reason it didn't show up. So sorry about that!_

_-swimmergirl103_

…_._

The rest of the day past uneventfully, and the end of the day finally came. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to be by myself. So I met up with mom at the office and she drove me home. I went up to my room as soon as we got home. Lying on my bed, for the first time in a long time I was only thinking about one thing. It wasn't Valentine or everything new. It was Jace.

I couldn't help but be attracted to him. It wasn't his looks, even if he was gorgeous, and I was even repulsed by his cocky and arrogant attitude. I could tell by the way he acted towards Jon today that he wasn't used to being challenged. He was the top dog at that school. He was used to being the best at everything, the one with the most friends, and with no competition whatsoever at anything and everything he did. It disgusted me. But I was drawn towards him anyways for reasons that I hadn't fully figured out yet.

Maybe it was the way that he seemed to care about me. I mentally slapped myself for that one. But the way he had looked at me both when I had run into him and at lunch made me wonder about what was under that cocky, I'm-cool-confident-and-better-than-you attitude. It made me think that there was more to him than getting girls and looking good. I just didn't know. But I wasn't about ready to deal with boys. Not in my state. I couldn't afford the pain it would cause me. I had had enough pain to last a lifetime and didn't need more.

I heard the faint sound of the door closing. I shivered at the sound. There seemed to be so thinking about it and stop the panic attacks and memories. I wanted to live my life. And I didn't want to live it in fear. Because what is life if life is crushed by so many fears like every day noises and sights that trigger it? I needed a distraction. I kept so much to myself that I had a hard time sharing anything with anybody.

A knock on the door jolted me out of my thoughts. It opened and Jon stuck his sweaty, dirt smeared head in the room.

"Hey Clare. Um, Jace, Isabelle, Alec and their little brother Max are here. So, just wanted to warn you."

"Wait, why are they here?"

"Well, it turns out those visitors mom was talking about are them."

"Oh." All the sudden, Jon was pulled out of the way and Izzy flounced her way into the room.

"Hey Clary! Come on, we've got to get ready!"

"What? Ready for what?"

"The beginning of 2nd semester party, of course!"

"There's a party for that?"

"Of course there is silly. Now up, I only have an hour and a half to get you ready!" I was pulled off the bed and pulled to the bathroom. Izzy was stronger than she looked.

"Everyone's going to be there! It's going to be amazing!"

"Is Jon going?"

"He is one of the most popular guys at school now. Yes, he is."

Izzy pushed me towards the shower.

"Now, get showered while I get a dress ready." I just shook my head and stepped out of my clothes and got into the shower. I started singing You Are More by Tenth Avenue North. I finished the song just as I finished my shower.

I stepped out and grabbed the towel hanging on the towel rack and wrapped myself in it. I stepped into my room. I turned around and let out a little shriek.

Jace was lounging on my bed, gazing lazily at my ceiling and then glancing my way when he heard me.

"I thought this was your room."

"Why the heck are you in my room?" I said.

"I just followed the enchantingly beautiful voice and found myself here. I gathered that the voice probably wasn't Jonathon's; he didn't seem like the singing sort of guy."

"Um, I'm in a towel, so…"

"Yes, I noticed. So how did you get those bruises?" My bruises were still fading.

"Get out of my room." I said quietly.

Izzy walked in with her arms full of material. She dropped it as soon as she saw Jace.

"Jace! Get out of here! She has to get ready!" She said sharply. He was still staring at me. "And stay away from her. She doesn't need someone like you in her life." He stopped staring and looked a little hurt.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, she doesn't need someone who is unpredictable, unfaithful, and unreliable. Now get out."

"I am not like that."

"Really. Now, like I said, you are making Clary uncomfortable, so get out."

"Whatever, _mom._" He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

"Sorry about that."

"It's alright."

"No, it's not. I was serious. He needs to stay away from you. You are far too important to me to be one of his many prizes."

"Thanks Iz."

"Ah, no time for sentimental stuff. Come on, let's get you into one of these dresses." There looked to be about ten of them. I groaned internally.

"Izzy, there is no way you are having me try on all these dresses."

"Oh, these aren't all for you! Six are for me, only four are for you." She picked up the first dress. It was black and layered. It had a silk black ribbon around the middle and was extremely short. It was a one strap dress with piece of material that went over one shoulder.

"So?"

"Um, Izzy. That dress is just a little short, don't you think?"

"Psh, no. I've worn shorter."

"Let's go with no."

"Fine." She picked up the second one. This one was a bluish turquoise strapless dress. It was fastened at the side with a flower and ruffles going down the side from the flower. It went to about mid-thigh.

"No, Izzy. Too short." She frowned.

"Clary, is it because of your bruises?"

"Yes, Izzy."

"Will you tell me what happened?" I turned my head away.

"We moved here because of someone, not something. It was our father. He's in jail now, but he was abusive. I was abused from age 8 all the way to last week. I-I" Izzy cut me off.

"It's alright. You don't have to tell me more. Here, how about this one?" She picked one up from her pile. It was emerald green and fell to the floor. At least on me it would. It was one-strapped and made from a silky looking material. It had folds going from close at the top and spreading out as it went down. It was beautiful.

"It's beautiful."

"Try it on, it looks even more beautiful when someone is wearing it." Izzy joked. I cracked a smile and went to change.


	11. Going To the Party (Plus Jace's POV!)

_Letting you guys know, I'm changing my username to soccerfanaticgirl, just cause it describes me better._

_-for the last time, swimmergirl103_

…_._

A little while later, Izzy had completed my hair, taming the usual red frizz that sat on top of my head to soft fiery perfect ringlets, and done my makeup, which I had put up a fuss about, because I didn't like makeup. And as much as I hated to admit it, I looked absolutely, stunningly gorgeous. She herself looked like a goddess in a white dress that crisscrossed at the top and went into three quarter sleeves.

We left the room and started down the stairs. Even if I was in flats and Izzy in heels, she was still more coordinated than me. The boys, Jon and Jace, were lounging about in the foyer. Jon caught our movement down the stairs and he stared at me. Jace noticed Jon's attention fixed and turned to look. He let out a smile and Jon nudged him with his elbow and whispered something to him, making Jace smirk.

"Hey guys." I said. "Where's Alec?"

"Alec doesn't go to these things. He claims it's just a chance to dress up like Barbie and Ken and act like animals." Izzy explained.

"Pretty much sums up parties." I mumbled to myself. Jace was still smirking at me and I shot him a glare, which of course, being Jace, made him grin even more.

"You look amazing Clare. And you too Izzy. You guys clean up well."

"Not too shabby yourself I must say."

"Of course, there's not much you can fix on something that's already perfected." Jace chimed.

"Like the art of arrogance?" I asked smartly. Jace laughed.

"Sounds like someone's got some fire after all. I knew you'd live up to your name." We went outside. Jon would drive, and I would sit in the front. Mom let us borrow the car for the night.

"Uh oh guys. We have a problem." They all looked at me.

"What is it?"

"The car's too small, Jace's ego won't fit."

"Neither will your witty attitude, so I don't want to hear it." Jace shot back. "Ouch, burn and sizzle!" He yelled back at me, licking his finger and putting it to his hip and making a sizzling sound as he walked to the other side of the car. Jon was laughing and Izzy was shaking her head. We all packed in and drove off to the direction of the party.

…...…

(_Due to popular requests, I will change POVs ever so often.)_

**Jace's POV**

After school was over, I headed towards the soccer fields, seeing as I was the captain of the team. Some of the returning guys were already there and the new recruits were over with coach. I scanned the newbies and my eyes caught familiar blond hair. It was the new kid, Jon. The one with the little red headed-sister.

They all started heading over and I started practice with a little spiel.

"Alright everyone. My name's Jace. I'm the captain of the team, which means whether you like me or not, I don't really care, but you're going to have to listen to me and do what I say. That's how things run around here. So no matter who you are, just deal with it, ok? Now that we've got that out of the way, we're going to run a scrimmage to see some skill."

_An hour later_

It was water break and all the guys were panting. I had been putting them through fast and furious drills. I made my way over to Jon, who was splashing water over his head. He saw me approaching and ignored me until I was standing right in front of him. He looked at me expectantly, raising his eyebrows.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, just you know, getting some water." I took a cup and filled it at the cooler.

"So, what's up with your sister?" I said sipping my water. He scowled.

"It's none of your business."

"That's why I'm making it my business."

"Just stay out of it. If she ever, in a million years, wants to tell you, then you'll get an answer. But until then, butt out." He shoved past me, making sure I spilled my water. I just smiled and threw the cup away.

The rest of practice past, and everyone went their separate ways. I caught up to Jon as he was walking to his car.  
"Hey dude. Sorry about today. I didn't mean to push anything personal." He looked at me in disbelief.

"It's ok, I guess. You didn't know. But seriously, what is it with you and my sister?"

"I find her, very interesting. Not like a scientist studying a monkey, but I find her interesting like a puzzle. And I want to solve the puzzle. I just want to know. There's something about her that makes me feel attracted to her somehow. I don't know, it's hard to explain." Jon smiled mischievously at me.

"Sounds like someone has a little crush." His face got serious. "But if you hurt her, I will hunt you down and destroy all that you hold dear and then kill you. "

"That's a bit harsh." He shrugged.

"It's necessary."

"Well, bye then."

"Not quite. Me and my siblings will be staying at your house for the next few days."

"What? Why?"

"Our parents and your parents are close and mine travel a lot so we stay at Jocelyn's a lot."

"Ok then." He got into his car. After nodding to me, he drove off.

I got into my own car and drove after him. I arrived shortly after he did and saw my siblings had already arrived.

I stepped inside and made my way to my room, but stopped and cocked my head after hearing a soothing melody coming from across the walkway. I followed it until I came to the last door and didn't bother to knock. The voice was coming from the shower but when I tried the door, it was locked, so I settled for waiting for Clary, at least I assumed it was Clary because it was either her, Izzy, ew, or Jon singing in an incredibly high voice for a guy. I was thinking about how I was going to get close to Clary when she stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in only a towel. She gave a little squeak of surprise.

"I thought this was your room." I said.

"Why the heck are you in my room?" She let out in a contained whisper.

"I just followed the enchantingly beautiful voice and found myself here. I gathered that the voice probably wasn't Jonathon's; he didn't seem like the singing sort of guy."

"Um, I'm in a towel, so…" she looked uncomfortable.

"Yes, I noticed. So how did you get those bruises?" I noticed bruises covering what skin showed.

"Get out of my room." She said quietly, stonily.

Izzy picked the right moment to walk in. I pitied Clary when I saw the amount of dresses in her arms.

"Jace! Get out of here! She has to get ready! And stay away from her. She doesn't need someone like you in her life." That hurt. I stopped staring at Clary, who had my full attention, and glared at Izzy. As much as I loved her, she could be blunt at times.

"What do you mean by that?" I challenged.

"I mean, she doesn't need someone who is unpredictable, unfaithful, and unreliable. Now get out."

"I am not like that." I seethed.

"Really. Now, like I said, you are making Clary uncomfortable, so get out."

"Whatever, mom." I said with spite and stormed off to my room to get ready. Was I really like that? Was I going to mess up Clary's life by incorporating myself into it?

I ignored the unknown questions in my head and put on a white button down, leaving the top three buttons undone. I put my favorite black leather jacket on top of it and put on some dark jeans with black shoes.

I met up with Jon at the stairs and we waited in the foyer for about 15 minutes. Finally, when I was checking a new text, I saw Jon staring at something. I followed his gaze and my eyes fell on the closest thing to an angel that I had ever seen. Clary took my breath away. I hadn't noticed how green her eyes were, or how beautiful her face was until now. I smiled is awe. I felt Jon's elbow jut into my ribs before he leaned over slightly to whisper a single sentence to me.

"Hands off my sister." I smirked at this.

"Hey guys." Clary said. "Where's Alec?"

"Alec doesn't go to these things. He claims it's just a chance to dress up like Barbie and Ken and act like animals." Izzy explained to her.

She mumbled something that I couldn't pick up. I didn't even realize I was still smirking at her until she sent a glare my way, which just made me smile even wider now that I knew I had her attention.

"You look amazing Clare. And you too Izzy. You guys clean up well." Jon expressed.

"Not too shabby yourself I must say." Clary joked. She seemed a little more open tonight. She had a lighter mood, there was something changed about her.

"Of course, there's not much you can fix on something that's already perfected." I decided to contribute to the conversation in a very Jace-like manner.

"Like the art of arrogance?" she asked saucily. I laughed at her witty remark.

"Sounds like someone's got some fire after all. I knew you'd live up to your name." We went outside. Jon would drive, and Clary would sit in the front. Jocelyn let them borrow the car for the night.

"Uh oh guys. We have a problem." Clary said. We all looked at her.

"What is it?"

"The car's too small, Jace's ego won't fit."

"Neither will your witty attitude, so I don't want to hear it." I shot back. "Ouch, burn and sizzle!" I yelled back at her, licking my finger and putting it to my hip and making a sizzling sound as I walked to the other side of the car. Jon was laughing and Izzy was shaking her head. We all packed in and drove off to the direction of the party.


	12. The Party

_Jace's POV_

We arrived at the party, which was being held at some person who I didn't know nor care about. I stepped out of the car and was greeted by the sight of a basically the whole school hanging out on the lawn and inside the house. I put on my usual air of confidence, and as usual, I looked good. If I were a girl, I would date and then marry me.

As soon as I set foot on the perimeter, a gaggle of girls surrounded me. Of course, Michaela was leading them. Her hair was put up in a bun that made her look as if she'd done it drunk, her face was plastered in makeup, and her outfit, I wasn't ever going to explain it to anybody.

"Hey Jace, I knew you'd be here!" She said in her annoying, nasally voice. I didn't like her, as in at all, but she just doesn't give up. I'd tell her tonight if she tried anything. Because there was only one girl I wanted. And her name just happened to be Clary Fray.

I didn't know what she thought of me. She kept so much to herself that I felt shut out for one of the first times in my life. But it was that very reason that I wanted her so much. I felt so compelled to know. I wanted to be able to take a look at what was going in her head instead of trying to read her like a blind man.

A song came on and I felt myself being pulled towards the dance floor. Michaela was shrilling about how much she loved the song. While I stood there and she danced around me, all I could think about was Clary. About how beautiful she looked tonight, about her old life, about anything. I thought about how much I just wanted to dance with her tonight and not regret it. The truth about why I had been with so many girls was that I was afraid of commitment.

But for some reason, commitment didn't seem like a problem with Clary. With every other girl, it had been as if I needed to make that choice. But when I thought about Clary, it just clicked. It felt right. I didn't ask myself whether I wanted to be with her or not. I knew that I did. I knew that I didn't want to see her with anybody else. I knew that if anything or anybody ever hurt her, I would hunt them down and burn them at stake. I didn't care if that was legal or not.

The song had stopped, so I left Michaela out in the middle of the dance floor dancing around thin air making a fool of herself.

I made my way to the backyard. It was full of people milling about, but I caught sight of a wave of blood red hair hanging silkily down the back of a very beautiful girl in the corner, facing the darkness of the night.

I came up behind her and stood beside her.

"Have you ever noticed that when we see black, we aren't really seeing anything? Darkness is just so, unexplored because no matter how many nights you go out alone, you never know what you're going to find the next night. It holds so much to itself and you can never really see anything until a light is shined on it."

"So like you." I saw her cheeks color in the dim light of the house. "You hold so much in you that no one ever knows. And every time I see you, it's like you're battling something. And I never know what it is. Why don't you ever show anything?"

She shrugged. "Maybe I just need a light."

"I can be a light."

"Can you? Or will you just make things darker?"

"I don't have to be a sun or anything. I could start out a candle, then become a flashlight, then a lightbulb, and then maybe I'll become your sun."

"Or you could become the cloud that covers the moon and makes it pitch black."

"I promise that I will never, ever become that cloud." I said sincerely. A slower song came on.

"Would you like to dance, My Lady of the Night?"

"I guess." She said shyly. She put her arms around my neck and I put my hands on her hips. I got a weird shivery feeling, not because we were in this position, but just because I was with her. Just her presence made me happy. I wanted to be around her.

We were having a great dance when a nasally voice from behind me spoke up.

"You know, Jace, we are supposed to be dancing to this song, not you and some girl that I don't know or like as of now."

"Michaela, who ever said that we were supposed to be dancing together? If I had it my way, I wouldn't dance a second with you. And I really don't care if you don't like Clary, because you don't know her. And I know that I may not know her a lot, but intend to." I said, while Clary looked the other direction at the floor.

"Ugh, really Jace? You'd prefer to be with that, nothing of a girl than with me, the most popular and pretty girl in the school? Sorry, but that just doesn't seem right." I heard Clary gasp and hold back what sounded like a sob and felt her start shaking.

"Jace, I'm s-sorry, but I have to go." The warmth I craved along with the girl that I wanted more than anything in the world all the sudden jerked away from my arms where I had been holding her like I wanted to and was gone. I turned on my heel to face the offender. Michaela was smirking.

"Well, now that we have that sorry lowlife out of the way, we can finally have the night that was supposed to happen."

"Nothing was ever supposed to happen tonight. Nor was it supposed to yesterday, or tomorrow, or next year. I don't like you. And now you just chased away the first girl that I've cared about in a long time. Nothing will ever happen between us. Ever. So stop trying to force things, because it's never going to happen."

With that, I turned and rushed off to find Clary. I heard Michaela crying out my name behind me but didn't pay attention to it. I had one thing on my mind, and that was finding Clary. And when I found her, it wasn't a good situation.

I had been searching through the whole party and finally found her, curled up in a ball in a corner of a dining room that was separated from the party. And she had Jonathon and Izzy by her side, trying to calm her down. As I got closer, I saw the shivering and heard the crying. Izzy glared up at me in a look that said _I-will-handle-you-when-we-get-home._ And Jon, well, Jon looked plain murderous.

He leaped up and had me pinned against the wall within a second.

"What did you do to her!" He growled.

"I didn't do anything to her, but someone else did." He pushed off of me and I saw his hands clenched into lethal looking fists.

"Who? Whoever did anything to her is going to regret even looking her way."

"Calm down. It wasn't someone you can deal with. It was a girl. And I don't know what exactly she said to get Clary like this, but it went something along the lines of the other girl indirectly calling Clary a 'nothing of a girl'." Jon closed his eyes.

"Crap." He went back to Clary and took her in his arms.

"Shh. It's ok. I know that probably reminded you, but it isn't like that anymore. It would remind you of two things, and one of them has to do with me. I'm so sorry Clary." He got up and turned to Izzy. "I need you to take me to this girl. I can't be in the same room as Clary right now."

He turned to me. "I need you to stay here with Clary. What was the girls name?"

"Michaela."

"I should have known." Muttered Izzy. "Come on, I'll take you. Because I'm a girl, so I can hit her."

They left, which left me and a crying, shaking, emotionally unstable Clary. I immediately went to Clary's side and slid down beside her. I took her and gathered her in my arms.

"It's alright Clary. I'm here. I don't know what's going on, but I don't need to know right now. It's ok."

She buried her head into my chest, clutched at my shirt and cried. And I was happy to hold her tightly to me, hoping to make the pain go away.


	13. Happy and Unafraid

_Hey guys, I have big, sad, yet sort of good news. THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER! That is the big and sad news. But it was super fun writing this and the good news is that I've been thinking of writing a shadowhunter high school fanfic here recently, so look for that when I get it up!_

_-soccerfanaticgirl_

…

_Izzy's POV_

I was going to murder Michaela. I didn't care who saw or who cared. But nobody, and I mean anyone in the whole world, could mess with my friends and live. And Michaela had already gotten on my nerves playing with Jace when Jace clearly didn't like her.

Jon and I pushed through the crowds until I saw the artificial blond hair and spray on tan. I marched straight up to her and towered over her, almost a full head taller. I glared at her with as much hate as I could, which was a lot. It usually scared people to death, but she was either unaffected by it or was a really great actress.

"Oh, did Jace send you to do his dirty work and apologize for dancing with that girl instead of me?"

"That's a good one. Jace apologizing? And to you? Oh that's great. And you may want to watch who you're talking about, because that girl, whose name happens to Clary, is my friend. And Jace just so happens to like her. And you want to know why? Because she's beautiful. She doesn't need to be in the center of attention, unlike you with your fake laugh, your fake tan, and your fake face. He doesn't like you. Get that into your head."

She seemed speechless for a moment. But she gathered herself finally.

"You really think that I'm going to believe you? That girl, who I really am not liking, is stealing my boy away from me and you expect me to give him up? Jace is in love with me just like every other guy in the school."

"You are so self-absorbed. Get your head out of the dirt and maybe you'll see that you are not liked. By me, by Clary, by Jace. Jace doesn't like you, at all. He told you before he went to comfort Clary. You really screwed up. You hurt her real bad. You just had to drag up old memories that made her hurt, real bad."

"Good." That was the last straw. I raised my fist, but felt someone catch it. Jon.

"Iz, she's not worth it." I took a shaky breath, trying to regain my temper. And Michaela was standing there smirking. Oh how I hated this girl.

"You're right. She's not worth anything." That's when I turned and walked away with Jon at my heels.

…

_Clary's POV_

I stayed with my head buried into Jace's chest for what seemed like forever. Not that I minded. As much as I hated to admit it, I was starting to fall for Jace. I didn't expect him to like me back, I didn't expect anything. But it was the side he was showing me right now that I was falling hard for. This sweet, caring, protective angel side of him. He came looking for me. He knew something was wrong and he had come looking for me. And then there was the fact that even though he didn't have a clue what was going on, he still held me as if I were his life.

But finally I collected myself enough to look him in the eye.

"I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for? Clary, you have done nothing wrong. You're perfect."

"No I'm not. I ruined your night and I just mess everything up."

"Who told you that?"

"Everyone." I whispered, almost to myself.

"Clary, I say to you truthfully, you have made this one of the best nights of my life. You saved me from having to dance with artificial Barbie dolls. You are the truest girl I've ever met. You are not artificial in any way. You're beautiful physically, and you didn't have to change anything for me to see that. Your personality is absolutely stunning. You're smart and funny and witty. And I've picked up that you've had a bad past, but somehow you've managed to remain not untouched, you're so troubled, but you've managed to remain yourself. And I admire that sort of strength."

"Jace, I-you don't understand. I'm not the same person I was when I was eight. I've changed. I've become so scared," I sobbed," so scared of everything that I'm afraid to live. I've become so secluded that I feel like I need to get away from even myself so often that it feels like every minute of every day."

"Clary, you're always running. Stop running. You're trying to escape your feelings and your memories and your past and people. You're always running from people. What happened to make you so afraid to trust?"

"I can't talk about it right now. I-maybe later I can, but right now, I just not emotionally strong enough to do that."

He started to rub my back comfortingly. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and sighed.

"Let's go home." He nodded and helped me up. I was faintly aware of his arm around my waist the whole time we were looking for Jon and Izzy. We finally found them after circling the house heading towards the room we were just in.

"Hey!" Jace shouted to get their attention. They both turned their heads towards us. When we met up, Jace told them that we were going home.

"I was thinking the same thing. Nothing good is going to happen if we stay." Jon said.

"Yeah, like as in I may hit someone."

We headed to the car and got in. Jon driving, Iz in the front seat and Jace and I in the back. He still hadn't let go of me.

We arrived at the house and when we went inside, Jocelyn was waiting at the door. She frowned when she saw my puffy eyes and Jon's still hard expression. And she raised an eyebrow when she saw Izzy ready to kick the wall.

"I'm guessing the semester party didn't go too well?"

"There was drama, some bad memories surfaced, and more drama."

"Yikes."

"Yeah. I think we all just want to go to bed." Jon said rubbing his forehead.

"Ok, nobody wants any tea or anything?" Jocelyn offered.

"No thanks." I said as I started towards my bedroom.

I shut the door and curled up on my bed. I just wanted to be alone. But something told me different. I didn't want to be alone, I wanted the presence of one person with me. I wanted Jace right by my side. I felt so safe and secured and loved with him and the truth was, I like feeling that way. I wanted to trust someone for the first time. I trusted Jace. I lay wallowing in the feeling of trust for more than an hour until I heard the door of the bathroom open slightly and close. I stilled, my back towards the person.

"Clary?"

I felt a warmth flood my body when I heard his voice.

"Jace?"

"Oh good your awake." He sounded relieved.

"Clary? Will you tell me what happened? In your past?"

"It may take a while."

"We have a while."

I took a breath and began my story from the beginning. I told him how my mom had left at age 2 and how my father had beat me and how I was abused with words at school. I told him how I was rescued and about the checkup and court case. I told him how Jon had apologized. I told him everything I possibly could. And he listened.

"Clary, that-that's terrible. I can't imagine how you made it this far and be in as good shape you are with all that happening to you. You are so strong Clare. So amazing that I can't even tell you how amazing you are."

I sat up and put my hand on his shoulder, feeling the corded muscled beneath his shirt tense. He turned towards me and looked me in the eye. He put his hand on my chin.

"Clary, may I kiss you?" I just looked him back in the eye and pressed my lips into his. He pulled back and got up.

"Goodnight Clary, I'll see you in the morning."

"Jace, would you stay with me?" He stopped and turned around.

"Yes, I will." He came back and laid down by me. I turned towards him and curled up into a ball against him and his arms wrapped around me. I felt safe, and I was happy. Finally, I was happy and unafraid.

_AND FIN!_

_Hope you enjoyed reading this story!_


	14. AN: I Suggest You Read This

To all of my faithful readers,

I have decided. It will be big. It will be exciting. It will be shocking. But I have something to tell you.

I have decided that I will not end the story. Due to many questions that I myself would love to come up with answers to, I have decided to herby forth not end the story yet. I will be posting more chapters, so those of you who were heartbroken because I ended the story, perk up, cause it's going to keep coming. And to those of you who wanted me to end my story, well, suck it up because it's not happening.

I, soccerfanaticgirl, promise to keep my story going until I deem all questions answered in satisfaction and not to drag it out until nobody likes it anymore.

So look for more chapters! Happy reading!

-soccerfanaticgirl


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